Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
