like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
