I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
