it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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