Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
