the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
