he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize