it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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