Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
