I wish I could teleport
I think my vagina is haunted
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
