the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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