I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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