He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize