Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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