How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Houston, we have a blender
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize