im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
