So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize