do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
