Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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