i jhust puked up my retainher.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
