i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
