It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
