Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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