Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
