It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
