So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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