If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
