The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
