lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
