I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
