i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
