i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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