last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
