I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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