I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
