that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
