Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
