I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
