the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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