i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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