Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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