walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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