Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
