the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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