is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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