forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You were trust falling into bushes
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
