My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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