Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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