We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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