oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
