I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
