He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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