Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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