Kiss
Puke
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
