you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
