please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i out mim tonsoeep
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