she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
