I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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