it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
