i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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