hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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