I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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