I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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